Though not easy for me to admit most times, I do screw up. Sometimes it can be trivial like forgetting to full clean a dish and we have to rewash it, but other times I find that I have messed up royally. This post is about the latter, but it is really because of a lot of smaller times when I should have been more focused and thoughtful. What it comes down to is putting my partner on the other side of my dream, and not getting her on the same side of the path to help push me along to success.
I have begun my fourth day of the Start journey, and already I can feel the power and connection that it has in helping me work towards my goals and stay active. What I forgot about was keeping my girlfriend informed of the progress I was making, how I was doing, why I was doing what I was doing, and generally just begin actively a part of our lives. Not a good thing to keep your partner in the dark with what you are doing, especially in such close quarters.
After a few stressful days about a huge life step (which I will write about *hopefully* next week after it had been delayed) I was not exactly in the mood to share my small accomplishments I have made through Start. Instead, I buried my head into my blogging and niche website, hoping to make some progress to keep my mind from the previous days actions that hurt and upset me, and just made me want to join a boxing class again.
What I forgot was that my most powerful ally, confidant, cheerleader and friend was not exactly being informed of everything going on. Monday we sat around with Neflix on, myself typing away working on backlinking, with not much said. Tuesday was when I found out that things were not going my way with the previously stated life step, and I kind of shut down talking about it after all of the facts had been revealed. Yesterday, after a long day of work and sorting everything out to set back my life step a week later, I went and played pickup Ultimate only to come home and push away Missy’s questions.
I thought I was being more considerate by asking if she was just asking questions or if she really wanted to have a conversation. My mother always taught me that if you are going to have a conversation, give that person your undivided attention. I was not doing that with Missy last night, so I tried to determine if she was just making small talk or really wanted to sit down and talk. She really wanted to sit down and talk, but I didn’t realize that until it was too late.
We ended up talking for an hour after I went into the bedroom to sleep, and though not everything has been taken care of or cleaned up, I relearned an important lesson: It is important to put your partner on the same side of the path that you are taking, or you will forever be pushing them farther away from you every time you work towards your dream.
Simply telling Missy about my progress for 10 minutes may have prolonged that conversation. However sometimes it is more important to have something startle you and make you extremely aware that if you continue doing what you are doing, you will find yourself without support and love, and wondering what to do next or where to go.
Question: How could you improve your relationship by discussing what you are currently working on? How difficult can it be to start the conversation?